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brb.: 2017

Nov 18, 2017

Crystal clear

We often use glass to be a metaphor for relationship,
mostly because of its fragility.
I just came to realise recently the reason of using that metaphor.
The bonding between people is breakable.
It is as fragile or even more fragile than a glass.
We can always see how glass starts to crack when it is applied with external force or pressure.
Just like how relationship among people starts to fail when there are issues arising.
Take note, this is just the preliminary stage.
Things get worse when greater force is applied,
like you drop that glass (accidentally/purposely) REAL hard on the floor and 
You see how it breaks into pieces.
Same as when people had enough of each other.
They can no longer stand each other.
The endurance has reached its limit.
Subsequently, dramas, chaos.. any possible TRAGIC outcomes you could think of, happen.
Then you see the seriousness of the matters.
You are shocked of how quickly can things go wrongly then instantly feel you should FIX it.
So you pick up the broken pieces, like how people pick up each others' broken hearts,
and gather the broken glass pieces ensuring no even a single piece left on the floor to REASSEMBLE it.
Then, you try to glue it so that it looks the same as it was.
But honey, not everything is fixable.
Some broken things can only be replaced instead of being fixed.
Worse still, you might hurt yourself while picking up the broken pieces.
The broken pieces cut your skin and flesh.
You can feel the pain.
You can feel your heart aches.
But you cannot tell which one hurts more.
So you regret.
You try as best as you can to work things out.
Then you realise, there is no turning back.
It is too late for seeking solutions or looking for remedies.
So you hold grudges, you blame yourself for not stopping things from happening.
Nothing lasts forever.
Even your grudges, so you MOVED ON, like finally.
Then you start looking for a new glass again.

Am I judgemental for judging people judgemental?

Let's talk about something serious today.
Isn't it cool for people to change?
I mean, change for the better, of course.
Not for the worse.

So I have been obsessed with losing weight lately,
after experiencing a massive weight gain during my internship.
Even my actual weight was not as "heavy" as people thought but my body fat did make me to be two-time bulkier than before.
There were judgements and criticises during the time.
My self-esteem just went from 0% to -10000000%.
I couldn't fit in my jeans and I was too ashamed to wear sleeveless tops because of my fat arms.
People made fun of me.
Friends had to stop me from snacking and stuffing myself with high-calories food.
WHY? Because I was skinny back then.
The sudden weight gain "transformed" me to be some kinda giant.

After all of this s*it, I realised that I really need a change.
I change not because of anyone but for myself.
I want to be able to fit in my jeans or look good in any outfit.
So I start controlling my diet, I walk, I move as much as I can, I would rather stand than sitting to boost the metabolism rate.
I eat healthy food, I skip snacking, I work out.... I really put in my effort.
No pain, no gain, they say.
I really did lose weight and saw myself being able to fit in my jeans AGAIN.
I was more than happy.
1. What moves you are making to achieve your goal?
You work hard, you do whatever necessary to bring yourself closer to the goal.

2. What do you do after accomplishing your desired outcome?
You set benchmark, you give yourself room for improvement.
You ensure there is no regression.
(No.2 is extremely applicable here, I do not want regression so I maintain the good result.
I retain what I have been doing that helps me to come to this.)

This is what SOME people say to me now.
While there are also SOME other people: YOU SIAO AH? YOU DON'T EAT!
(Hello, I still eat, I just do not eat that much and I start to have self-awareness.
I know what is good or bad to me.)
Tbh I was shocked by the degree of exaggeration of people nowadays.

Okay let's cut to the chase.
The point that I am making here is that not every person is understanding.
I do not really WANT them to be understanding or agree with my point of view,
because only I, myself, truly understand my will.
but please, at least, DON'T JUDGE, you have never been through what I had been through.
I am not you and you are not me.
I do not expect your agreement but I hope you do not rain on my parade.

We, humans, are so damn SUPERFICIAL & JUDGEMENTAL.
Saw a skinny girl: She must have Anorexia.
Saw a curvy girl: She looks like an elephant! Look at her thighs.
Saw a girl with tattoos and piercings: Gangsta.
Saw a girl hanging around with boys: Slut.
............................ so on and so forth.

See? This is what we do. 
People need space. They deserve peace.
Be considerate. 
It may not be working for you but doesn't mean it won't work for them OR 
Just because they do it doesn't mean they are willing to, be in their shoes and think about it. 
People sure as hell have their own reasons for doing what they are doing.

Why can't we just be supportive?
You see people experiencing hard time, you back them, you give advice.
You do not drag them, you do not doubt their decision.
Why can't we just be happy for someone else's success?
You see their accomplishment, you compliment them for a job well done.
You congratulate them, You learn from them.
There are already so much s*its going on,
Why make people's life miserable?
Why make things complicated?
This world would be a better place if us, humans, start valuing each other.

Last but not least,
Am I judgemental for judging people judgemental?

Apr 8, 2017

24 is not just a number

It was my 24th birthday two days ago.
So here is how it went like:
On this very special day,
I was to go buy train tickets with my friends and I was told to not have dinner at outside as we (the roomies and I) were going to steamboat at home. (said my roomie xD)
Without feeling suspicious, I bought it 
This was the first trap I fell into

As soon as I got home, there was nothing,
No steamboat, no dinner and nothing at all 
So me and a friend of mine whined about how hungry we were.
Then, she suggested to have dinner with another bunch of friends instead.
I didn't think much about it as I was already starving like hell :/
So we walked to our friends' house which is just next few doors away from our house.

Once I got into their house, I saw they were preparing steamboat (this time is FOR REAL!) 😋
and there was the decorating banner that says"happy birthday" lying on the table.
And as they wished, I did not have any suspicion before this.
I was totally unaware of their "intention".

After having the meal,
they came up with the second "trap".
They told me that they forgot to buy my birthday cake and wanted to take me to the bakery to buy it.
TBH I felt fishy about it but I still went out anyway. 
Then, I was convinced that they would buy me a Secret recipe cake on the next day
(like WHAT)

So at the end, we just grabbed some drinks from the store and went home without the birthday cake.

I went home feeling surprised!
They were holding a birthday cake and started singing me birthday song.
Meaning to say,
For all the while I was "lured" to stay outside, the remaining friends at home were actually busy decorating.
Well it was kinda awkward when people sing you birthday song so what I did was that I SANG WITH THEM 
Instead of just standing there like a dork.

However, we did not eat the cake.
We ate watermelon instead.
LOL I swear it was the most unforgettable experience of eating a watermelon.
The watermelon wasn't cut into pieces but was cut into 2 big halves.
We just use spoons to scoop it out.

The most "tragic" moment came afterwards.
They gave me a birthday present.
It was about a the size of a sneakers box but when I opened it,
There were shredded papers covered a small box and it was wrapped by like, uncountable layers of used exam papers 😖😖😖
I found it hard to unwrap cause my friend used the super sticky cellophane tape.
Nonetheless, I managed to unwrap it after 999 hours.

Look what they got me
This present came in handy because I was thinking to buy it so long ago

I'm truly blessed for having companions on my every birthday.
To express my gratitude:
"‪Guess I've reached the age of realising how companion and sense of belonging matter more than material things do. No any fanciness is needed on this special day, as long as it could be well spent with the right ones. Thanks for making me feel like I was home y'all. I was truly moved."

Not to forget, BIG THANKS to whoever wished me happy birthday

Feb 18, 2017

How have you been, my safe haven?


现在在银行当起了菜鸟实习生 :P
真没想到实习工作还能吃喝玩乐 xD
哈哈哈哈 有时候还有意想不到的好康
每天得很早起搭地铁上班 :/

  年 团
哈哈哈哈哈 追星已经成了我生活的一部分


那个333 boy

vocal line高音担当



去想去的地方 etc
Because YOLO

尤其是这位先森 lol